Tuesday, May 7, 2013

purpose of life

Assalamualaikum. I want to share something with you guys today. A few days ago, Qayyum texted me;

"mind to tell me what's the purpose of this life? your purpose that is?"

To be honest, I don't really know how to answer that. But then, I remembered that I had heard someone said like this;

"if you ask the Palestine kids, what do you want to be in the future? they answered, 'To martyrdom in the way of ALLAH', and if you ask our kids (MALAYSIAN), they will mostly answer, 'I want to be a doctor', 'an engineer', 'a teacher' and etc."

When I heard this, aku rasa malu.

Malu,
Bukan sebab aku lah anak-anak orang Malaysia yang berkata 'Aku mahu jadi doktor atau cikgu atau sebagainya',

Tetapi aku malu,
Sebab aku tahu aku tidak akan mampu untuk menjawab macam anak-anak Palestin itu.

Aku terfikir, apa sebenarnya purpose of life aku?

Jadi seorang business woman yang berjaya kah?
Menjadi seorang anak yang solehah kah?

Aku sendiri tak tahu.

Tapi bila difikirkan semula, aku rasa aku tahu purpose of life aku apa.

"I just want to be the best slave in the eyes of Allah"

Sejujurnya aku tahu. Aku bukan lah seorang yang sangat baik.
And to be real honest, I am afraid of death. Not other people's death, but mine.
I am afraid to die. I don't know if it's wrong to say like this or not, but I am just afraid of it.
Aku bukan takut akan sakitnya mati itu. Tapi aku takut kalau aku mati, aku tak cukup bekalan amalan untuk dibawa ke akhirat nanti.

D.I.E means 'FULL STOP' to me.

Full Stop pula bermaksud segala amalan berhenti di situ sahaja.

Tiada tambahan.
Tiada pembetulan.
Tiada sambungan.

Aku takut,
Sebab aku sangat takut aku tidak dapat berjumpa dengan Allah dan Rasulullah di akhir zaman nanti.

Aku takut,
sebab aku tak mahu masuk Neraka.

Aku juga takut,
jika aku tak berkelayakan untuk masuk Syurga.

I'm afraid because I am not perfect.
I'm afraid because I'm a normal person.
I'm afraid because I am afraid.

If you are wondering, if I'm that afraid, why didn't I try to change myself to the better one?

Do you think I had never try it before?
I did.

But it's not as easy as it sounds like.
You know that right?

But you know what?
If Allah wills, everything is possible. InsyaAllah.
Have faith in Allah.